Happy New Year. May it be a better one for all of us. (“Well, it certainly can’t be any worse. Duh.”). Hey! I heard that. Coooome on. I know times are tough, but try to remember what JFK said: “A rising tide lifts all boats.” Until the sea changes direction, at least we’re stuck on this sand bar together. (“We’re gonna need a bigger boat.”). OK, who said that?

No one is immune from having an off year, not even the rich and famous – but the class and grace with which they handle it can be inspirational to the rest of us. Take the Queen of England. In 1992, with her children and daughters-in-law behaving badly, many subjects wondering why the royals didn’t have day jobs, and a painter’s faulty light bulb reducing a sacred, ancient chunk of Windsor Castle to ashes, this stiffest of stiff-upper-lipped Brits candidly allowed that the year for her had been “an annus horribilis.”

If not for my grammar-school Latin, I might’ve thought the sweet woman had also endured a botched colonoscopy. Knowing the true cause of her troubles, I still felt genuine sympathy – though I suspect QE II had a subtle message for her princess daughters-in-law: that they had turned into royal pains in the …

As many people today are feeling the pinch, and “community service” is the new “full service,” I would like to start doing my part, with a few tidbits of advice on how to survive in the new world order:

Lower your bottom line. Recently, my office-equipment sales rep voluntarily tore up our agreements and signed new copier-printers that reflected our current diminished workload (think: a car lease with lower mileage allowance). We realized an annual savings of over $4,000. “Why are you doing this?” I asked. “I came to you before you came to me,” he replied. “These days, everything is negotiable.” Hmmm. One week later, Omaha Steaks called me with a telephone-only offer: get 18 5-ounce filet mignon steaks for $89.99. (The bacon wrapping sealed the deal.) “Let’s do it,” I said. As I gave my credit card info, the woman said shipping was $16.99 extra. When I said, “No deal,” she waived it. I think my sales guy is right.

Do-it-yourself when it comes to home renovations. This depends on how handy you are. A man’s got to know his limitations. Mine stop after carpentry, painting and simple electrical relocations. For me, DIY does not mean putting in a new kitchen or home theater. There are puh-lenty of good contractors between the covers of this magazine that specialize in projects demanding the exquisite. As my father used to say: Do what you do well, to pay others to do what they do well (especially if you’re still doing well enough to be thinking “home theater”).

Mix your own martinis. I’m not saying you should order water when out for dinner, but with high-end cocktails averaging $10 a pop, limiting their consumption to your home can save big bucks. By the time you’re on your fifth Manhattan, you will have saved enough money to pay for a half-hour of therapy to figure out why you’re drinking so much.

Continue to tip properly. Community service starts with those who serve us.

Keep your household well maintained. When you have your health and working appliances, you have everything. That may sound frivolous – putting a GE refrigerator on the same priority level as your health – but, answer me this: How much faster do you think your pulse would race, and your blood pressure rise, after you realize that that funny noise under the fridge is your conked-out compressor – the same compressor that’s keeping your daughter’s keepsake slice of her wedding cake frosty and ready for consumption on her first anniversary?

Think only good thoughts. As we wait for the turnaround to turn us around, remember what that other, less regal team of British characters, Monty Python, used to say: “Always look on the bright side of life.”

M.C. Martino can be reached by e-mailing editor@201.net.